PTSD Nightmares
My nightmares and flashbacks in many ways feel remarkably similar; only I am asleep with one and awake for the other. The night terrors never fail to leave me shaken and drained. Feeling like my body is a battleground between my mind's subconscious demons and my physical self, constantly fighting against each other.
As I toss and turn in my sleep, my body tenses and my muscles ache with the physical manifestations of fear. I jolt awake, gasping for air, my heart races as if I've been running for hours with screams with no sound, but the worst part is the ongoing feeling of dread and exhaustion that lingers long after the nightmare has ended.
Nightmares used to be a rare occurrence for me, but now they invade my sleep most nights. I frequently wake myself during the night, trying to yell out for help with no sound. I am often confused and disoriented, taking some time to realise I am safe in my bed. The night terrors take on different forms, sometimes replaying the traumatic events of my time in prison, and other times they have unique storylines that all end with me being trapped and fearing for my life. And then there are the nights when I wake up consumed by an overwhelming dread, unable to remember any specific details from the dream. But no matter what form they take; the one constant is that I am always trapped and trying to get away.
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