Sneak peek into Uncomfortably Comfortable

I am excited to share an exclusive sneak peek of my book, Uncomfortably Comfortable!

Stepping into the prisoner protection unit triggered another long-forgotten memory, a comment spoken long ago. I could almost feel the warmth of her hand gently resting on my shoulder so many years earlier. Offering a reassuring and understanding touch as she shared her words of support after a difficult day.

"It is easy working with the lovable, my dear; but it takes an incredibly special person to work with the unlovable."

The memory of someone I used to work with, a memory of a friend and mentor. Her words felt like a comforting hand on my shoulder, a reassurance that the work that I was doing was important and needed.

I was conscious of that all too familiar feeling of being comfortable with being uncomfortable. Goosebumps rose on my skin as I stepped inside. My body was instantly on guard, scanning from left to right as I walked across the unit. The room felt suffocating with the stale odour of confinement, and the energy heavy as I felt the disdain of the sex offenders towards me. My feminine presence reminds some of them of mistakes and regrets from the past, a past they were trying to forget, and others of their predatory sexual impulses that they couldn’t wait to act on. Many still lay the blame on others, some wearing the blame on themselves, and some will spend the remainder of their lives fantasising about their next victim.

As I sat across from the prisoner in the protection unit, I noticed the tattoos on his arms and the hardened expression on his face. He spoke calmly and agreed with everything I said. I was well aware he was trying to paint himself as a likable, easy-going guy. But having worked with sex offenders for years, I knew better. They could come across as charming and accommodating at first, but it was all a façade. Behind their manipulative tactics lay a deep-seated desire to control and harm others, especially women. As he spoke about his family and life before prison, I couldn't help but wonder what events had led him down this path of violence and abuse. What trauma had he endured that twisted his soul into thinking it was acceptable to hurt others? It was a common theme among prisoners. Hurt people often hurt people. Some could trace their behaviours back to childhood traumas, while others were harder to pinpoint. But one thing was certain; these men needed help if there was any hope for them to break the cycle of violence and pain, they perpetrated upon others.

Walking back across the prison yard, I couldn't shake off the comment that had been made to me earlier:

"You'll lose yourself if you stay here too long; these high walls will take your soul."

It was difficult not to think about the prisoner I had just spoken with. His story was beyond horrific, and working with him should have kept me up at night, but instead, I found myself numbed to it all. This numbness had made me effective in my job, but it also made me cold towards the horrors of this world. In this meticulously ordered chaos, my professional detachment had become my armour, but I could feel my soul slipping away, leaving me unable to truly feel anything anymore. 

This first chapter is particularly special to me because it sets the tone for the entire book. It introduces you to the world of prisons and gives you a glimpse into the journey that lies ahead. I hope it captivates you and leaves you eager to read more. Thank you for being a part of this journey. Your support and enthusiasm mean everything to me.